Callous disregard for the opinions of others
Feels like freedom.
Suggests a filter
To keep the white noise of inconsequential information
But such an unyielding percolation
Is just as likely to reduce the evidence of worthwhile
As of not.
Learning the difference between callous disregard
and open hearted, yet impervious
Is a struggle I’m only starting to grasp.
My ability to not care what anyone thinks of me
is not an unwise instinct
But how I’ve been doing it
Leaves little space for a compassionate perspective.
This insistence that I have no time for subtlety
Not only does a disservice
to the grace encompassed in nuance,
It leaves me with no avenue besides that
Of broad, brash, obstreperous attempts
To prove the point
That I don’t need bridges to connect.
But shutting the world out
Works just as effectively
To shut me in
And these walls are brittle
As a hesitant heart.
They break not from the pain of having been used
But from the absence of engagement.
Holding the whole of humanity in contempt
For the misguided cruelty of the few
Too blinded by pain to understand
The folly of the reality they feel compelled to inhabit,
At least to my way of thinking,
Allows for no forward movement
To my way of thinking.
Mistaking kindness for weakness
Is a habit long useless
And it’s time to let go.