Someone asked that recently, about two weeks ago. I had a hard time coming up with anything no matter how much I focused on it. But I think that was the wrong approach. So I backed off. And today, this showed up.
I don’t know much about it, it’s one of those things I never look directly at.
I might compare it the feeling that comes when I know I’m about to set off on a grand adventure and part of my mind has already left. I’m counting down in weeks, or days, or hours and there is a constant ebullience under my skin.
When I think of effervescence, I don’t ascribe that quality to something like champagne. Champagne is bubbly, effervescence is thicker than that. There is a higher viscosity to it, it would feel well comfortable in something like a bloodstream. Being carried from toes that curl with excitement to fingers that find themselves interlaced and squeezed, to the way the hairs on a neck stand at attention, muscles that remember touch.
But the excitement is almost too much, I need to push it to the back of my brain and not think directly of it or it will overwhelm me. There is a nature of something infinite to it, the more I look the more I see quality. Comparable perhaps to the way it feels when I macro/micro my self within my world to regain or maintain perspective.
I am larger than much and smaller than multitudes. And that’s kind of how it feels to have love.
It’s something grander than I can ever comprehend. A feeling, a sensation that overwhelms reason and logic in many instances. At the same time, it’s something that fits quite easily within my pocket. It can be encapsulated in a few notes of a song, a stone I’ve carried from a beach I can’t remember the name of, a scent that transports me through time and space to somewhere I’ll never forget.
And don’t want to.