I see it all the damn time. You are so quick to step up and be supportive, compassionate, encouraging, even feistily combative when it comes to telling your friends and loved ones why they’re worthy, beautiful, brave, kind.
How come you don’t offer yourself the same damn courtesy?
Why do you think you’re not good enough, smart enough, worthy of love, every fucking flavour of goddamn fucking awesome?
I hear it all the time. “I’m not all that.” “He’s out of my league.” “I wish I was as… as….”
A while back, I was hanging out with a guy. Pretty awesome guy. We weren’t to be, it’s not a big deal. The thing that made me insane was his insistence that he was “average”.
He didn’t mean that perfect balance between column a and column b. There was no happy in his medium. He was using the term to be synonymous with mediocre, suggesting there was a lack to his lustre.
It wasn’t true. He’s crazy intelligent, adventurous, creative, musical, damn fine looking. But at some point had decided that he wasn’t anything special. And said it so much, so often that it started to be true. Eventually I believed him too and left.
I’ve used self-deprecation as a humour tactic. Knowing that I have one foot in absurdity and one foot in ‘I actually believe what I’m saying about myself right now’. And it’s bullshit. Yes, there are things that I can work on. Yes, I’m continually evolving. But goddamn it, me talking shit about myself is not going to help that process along, whatsoever.
And I think the same is true of yours.
There was an experiment where a dude told a glass of water he loved it, that it was worthy and stupendous and just so fucking good at being wet and liquid and have this ability to be other physical states at the drop of a thermal hat (thermostat?) or get sooo fuckin hot that you’re steam, baby.
(Yes I know that I’m taking liberties with Masaru Emoto’s methods, don’t worry about it) He treated another glass badly. The he froze the water and looked at it through a microscope. He discovered that the glass of water that had been showered with love and had beethoven played to it was a beautiful shape, balanced and symmetrical, whereas the polluted, spoken meanly to water had no discernible pattern or relative beauty.
Whether his findings are accurate or not, and it’s an experiment that probably falls closer to the spectrum of pseudoscience than science, the fact remains that we are approximately 60% water.
You do the math. That’s a lot of water you’re talking shit about on a quasi/semi/far too regular basis.
I’m insanely intelligent and really fucking awesome. If I dig you, it’s probably because you’re goddamn amazing.
I love you.
Now stop talking shit about people I love.