When I set off on this journey,
my heart and head filled with sparks
inklings of how to make marks
the notion of leaving barefoot impressions
and all sort of silly expressions
of creativity, joy, zaniness, quirk
At some point, not sure when,
It just felt like work.

I lost sight of my voice,
felt drowned out by fears
that I’d missed my shot
by mere moments,
or years.
I tried to fit in
make practical goals
Ended up with pinched toes
And calluses on my soul.

Too tired to find ways to fully engage,
I fell into habits better suited to dark places
A desire to hide away and keep myself quiet
I went on a low to no interaction with society diet.

But voices are funny,
They don’t forget how to sing
Even winter eventually gives way to spring
When things start to bloom
with the warming of earth
When seeds are reminders
That small things have great worth.

And the battles we’ve fought
and the burdens we bear
And the twists in the plot
and the scars that we wear
Are only part of the picture
There’s much more to share

And what do I see when I look in the mirror?
Still standing,
Still fighting
Still very much here.


It feels a bit early in the month for a card featuring this much work to show up, but here we are.

Today’s deck is the New Wave Tarot by Last Craft designs. They recently closed up shop, so I’m glad I managed to get this deck. They have a new project which looks exciting, the Rosebud Tarot, but that’s for another day.

It’s really easy to get caught up in what are considered to be more or less definitive meanings within the Smith-Waite system but this deck having associations with familiar artists whose music comes to mind when I see them or hear their names expands what I know about the meanings of the cards while simultaneously adding subtleties I might not have considered.

I adore this deck for a few reasons. One, it feels like a bit of a love letter, and I’m a sucker for that sort of thing. Second, it encompasses an era of music which formed me even more than I had an awareness of while it was happening. The choices for cards are, for the most part, genius. Funnily, when I did this last year, I got the eight of discs which also features Erasure. Though to be fair, that featured both of them, where the nine of wands is Andy Bell solo. Vince Clarke can be found solo on the Knight of Discs card, which is totally appropriate since he brought the hits for so many awesome bands. One might think this is an Erasure heavy deck, but no. All the loves are here.

Grace Jones as Strength is especially inspired, to my thinking. Siouxie Sioux as the High Priestess, Kate Bush as the Moon, Nina Hagen as the Empress, Nick Cave as the Hierophant, Robert Smith as the King of Cups because who else could it be?

I will say that this is a difficult deck for me to read for other people because I have connections to the music and artists that others might not, and my interpretation could be a bit wonky as a result. Also, the cards themselves are delicate so lots of shuffling might age them faster than I’m ready for. That said, the musical rabbit holes I fall down every time I bust out this deck just gives me so much joy that it’s worth it.