He moved to the ocean for me, carried that damp air around in his bones for longer than was warranted, but that’s love, I suppose.
I’ll forever remember the look on his face when I asked if there was a chance we might move back to the plains. Remove ourselves from the shadow of the mountains that threatened to tumble into the sea, taking us with them.
Relief, then suspicion.
“You love the sea. It’s why your blood is so much saltier than mine.”
“Which is why I can live so far away from it, and still feel at home.”
This is sweet, but it’s also a lie.
I was intending to infer that her decision to move away from the ocean was a lie for his benefit, but the entire drabble is a lie because I already moved away from the ocean for him and I’d do it again.
I’ve gone back and forth all day on whether I would play this one straight or not, ironically.
If I were to engage fully in the way that these prompts have been digging at me, I would have to acknowledge that the lies I tell myself are legion though they can likely all be distilled into a matter of time.
As in, I think I have it, and so don’t use it in ways that I consider worthwhile. However, every moment without stress or pain is a delight and so none are wasted.
I have expectations of how time should be used, and when I don’t live up to those expectations, when I say I’ll do it tomorrow, there is a part of me that is let down and has a bit of a sulk in the corner while the rest of me is trying to frolic frivolously without any regard for shoulds. I’m still working out who is right in this argument, because I’m not totally convinced that super fun time waster brain isn’t in cahoots with dickbrain who, for some reason, thinks us getting in our own way is about the best thing ever.
I am genuinely confused by this.
I would love to say it’s societal, it’s pandemical, it’s definitely nurture rather than nature, but it’s my brain! So I have to take some responsibility for those thoughts.
Some lies I tell myself in the honorable mention category?
-I am not vain
-I don’t care about seeming cool
-I will only eat square of this chocolate bar and then save the rest
-I will only read one chapter/play my game for one hour/look at social media for ten minutes
-I will make a list of things to do tomorrow and I will do them
-I will definitely eat all these vegetables I’m buying
-I won’t buy any more books until I finish reading the ones I already own
-I will write every single day
But it’s only a lie as long as it’s not true.
And every day is a chance to do better, and so I will.