I was operating from a place where the most important thing to know is what I wanted to accomplish.
And then someone asked, is it? Or is it knowing how you want to feel?

And let me tell you, dear reader, that threw me for more of a loop than I expected.

Honestly, it’s still percolating in ways I’ve not quite sifted clear of, if I’m being honest, which I am if the first word of this sentence is any indication.

Right now.
Next week.
Six months from now.
A year from now.
Five years from now.

How do you want to feel?
What words encompass the sensation which accompanies waking up in the morning?

It could be accomplished. I want to feel like I’ve accomplished something if the notion of setting and following through on tangible goals is where the desired focus is at.
It could be content. Enriched with purpose.

I said I wanted to wake up excited, enamoured, necessary. I tried to move away from necessary, to find something more palatable because to me it suggests a neediness which doesn’t correlate with my supreme ability to be independent and not needy in any way. I’m genuinely not sure what it means beyond I like the idea that some aspect of my life has enough meaning that it would be greatly missed were it to disappear. The simplest explanation might be that I have plants, a garden, a collection of foster animals or strays which never left. If I go broader it might be that I’m responsible for the creation of art, of music, of stories or poems which inspire depth and laughter. That I am an intrinsic member of a community which seeks to elevate and enrich my small world in the hope that it has a ripple effect on a grander scale. A sense of purpose.

I’ve never really considered what my purpose is, if I have one. Which seems strange because all I do is explore the inner and outer workings of self via the written word among other mediums, such as dangerous tea parties with wickedly cunning creative types.

Some of these feel like entirely too concrete questions for overarching concepts of what comprises a human being.

I feel like this is a thread worth pursuing, even if at the end of all the labyrinthine twists and turns there is something more Minotaur than meaning of it all. But considering that I feel very strongly the Minotaur a most misrepresented monster of myth, created by the nefarious villainy of those who believe that power is best fueled by fear, it might not deter me from the act of seeking the center if I didn’t feel this way.

I suppose that if there is no known map of the terrain, going by feel might be the best option.