It’s time to delve into the things that scare me a little more – Eccentric Exploration

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It’s time to delve into the things that scare me a little more

Self-Realization

Unconcerned, but not indifferent

by Trish / 10/10/2014

I woke from a dream this morning suddenly. There was no transition from asleep to awake, I was one, then the other. In the dream, I was high on lsd with a number of friends, we were travelling in a bus. It was my bus, red and gold and blue but built more like a ship, with outer decks that shoes needed to be grabbed from as we took a corner too sharply, for fear they would careen off into…

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Instagram post 2141331091150461408_175186952

Walking home under darkened skies,
scraped by steel and glass,
a surprise connection with a reflection,
a familiar looking lass.
"Haunted by a quiet ghost,
and lost the gift of word?"
She seemed to chide,
Though not deride "My darling, that's absurd.
You're on that side, i'm on this
And yet we are the same
Yes sometimes silence
Feels like violence
But taking time? No cause for shame
We encompass such duality,
There's no need to be confused
Sweet ghost, don't grieve
The words don't leave
When you're the artist and the muse." #theartistasmuse
#Iammyownghostlearningtohauntmyselfproductively
#wordsarepatient
#icouldtakeapageouttatheirbook
#sotospeak

Instagram post 2132086763202891959_175186952

And so found myself again, as day came to an end,
And tomorrow shifted from future to present
From having nowhere I felt home, secured this place to call my own,
With parquet floors and french style doors that make it pleasant.

Instagram post 2131484967979714266_175186952

This is me, today.
Feeling wretched and alone, in a house that's not a home,
in a city I don't know, scared that I won't grow,
too broke to run away, searching for a place to stay,
and call my own.
The words that i'm not writing, trapped inside, feels like they're fighting,
And these whispers become screams, til they're poisoning my dreams
These unsaid poems.
But I'll drag myself from bed, shake the darkness from my head
Remember how to play, secure myself a place to stay, because
This is me, today.

Instagram post 2013390663090299426_175186952

Messy hair fuzzy pants sunshine welcome back snuggles from Shadowcat ukulele Feist kinda day.

Instagram post 1988197564511792258_175186952

From first morning found to last morning of letting her go before she lost herself completely, the adventures and good times I had with my fine foxy friend were numerous, numinous and never dull. It was a time, and like all things, it ended, as peacefully as one could hope.
Thanks everyone who was a friend to me by being a friend to her, even when she was a willfully wild and crazy bitch who wouldn't listen one good goddamn. @jbettyp especially for giving her home when I couldn't. She's my full circle girl, from lost in the woods, to home safe at last.
Say goodnight, Gala.
Goodnight, Gala.

Instagram post 1982153872424519095_175186952

And so it continues, like everything else.

Instagram post 1982137202481922481_175186952

Unwilling to wait for the sun to come over the ridge and warm up my world, I'll take matters into my own hands, literally.
#movinghandsarewarmhands
#thissongneedsmorefootstomping
#openingnotestogreetthedawn

Instagram post 1981544519225021730_175186952

Have to be nowhere sunday morning found me abed,
Schemes and dreams of wordgasms in my messy head.
Early afternoon, in the kitchen with no shoes
Pregnant with possibility,
I've got the sleepy cat companion to the book writing blues.
#notactuallysadjustpointingoutthatnearlyeverythinginthispictureisblue
#neverthoughtidbehappytobebarefootandpregnantinthekitchen
#gestatingabooknotahuman
#actualbabyewnothanks
#writingcleverhashtagsdistractsfromactualwriting
#maybeillwriteonemore
#yourenotthebossofme
#fineillgettoworkfuck
#amechanicofdreamingsworkisneverdone
#poetryiswhereyoufindit

Instagram post 1981038171655533133_175186952

Saturday night and we're deep in the groove of self care, medicating with Hugh Laurie's version of St James Infirmary, while drinking cocoa, and ensconced in cozy sweater.
#thesimplestthingskeepmesane
#musicissimplejustsityourassdownandplay
#pianonoodlinismyfavouritekindofnoodlin

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Instagram post 2141331091150461408_175186952

Walking home under darkened skies,
scraped by steel and glass,
a surprise connection with a reflection,
a familiar looking lass.
"Haunted by a quiet ghost,
and lost the gift of word?"
She seemed to chide,
Though not deride "My darling, that's absurd.
You're on that side, i'm on this
And yet we are the same
Yes sometimes silence
Feels like violence
But taking time? No cause for shame
We encompass such duality,
There's no need to be confused
Sweet ghost, don't grieve
The words don't leave
When you're the artist and the muse." #theartistasmuse
#Iammyownghostlearningtohauntmyselfproductively
#wordsarepatient
#icouldtakeapageouttatheirbook
#sotospeak

Instagram post 2132086763202891959_175186952

And so found myself again, as day came to an end,
And tomorrow shifted from future to present
From having nowhere I felt home, secured this place to call my own,
With parquet floors and french style doors that make it pleasant.

Instagram post 2131484967979714266_175186952

This is me, today.
Feeling wretched and alone, in a house that's not a home,
in a city I don't know, scared that I won't grow,
too broke to run away, searching for a place to stay,
and call my own.
The words that i'm not writing, trapped inside, feels like they're fighting,
And these whispers become screams, til they're poisoning my dreams
These unsaid poems.
But I'll drag myself from bed, shake the darkness from my head
Remember how to play, secure myself a place to stay, because
This is me, today.

Instagram post 2013390663090299426_175186952

Messy hair fuzzy pants sunshine welcome back snuggles from Shadowcat ukulele Feist kinda day.

Instagram post 1988197564511792258_175186952

From first morning found to last morning of letting her go before she lost herself completely, the adventures and good times I had with my fine foxy friend were numerous, numinous and never dull. It was a time, and like all things, it ended, as peacefully as one could hope.
Thanks everyone who was a friend to me by being a friend to her, even when she was a willfully wild and crazy bitch who wouldn't listen one good goddamn. @jbettyp especially for giving her home when I couldn't. She's my full circle girl, from lost in the woods, to home safe at last.
Say goodnight, Gala.
Goodnight, Gala.

Instagram post 1982153872424519095_175186952

And so it continues, like everything else.

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